वोह लिख देता है …

ना जाने क्यों जब भी उदास होता है  …
वोह मेरा नाम लिख देता है…

वोह अक्सर मुझे …
ज़िन्दगी का ख्याल लिख देता है  …

कहता है हंस कर क्या नाम दूं तुम्हें ..
फिर हमेशा की तरहां सवाल लिख देता है  …

जानता है खुद को ,फिर भी शरारत मैं  …
अक्सर वोह अपनी नजरो को अनजान लिख देता है …

जब दूं मिसाल किसी चीज़ से मोहब्बत को …
वोह हमेशा चुप हो कर बेमिसाल लिख देता है  …

वोह बहुत खुश  है  ज़िन्दगी  से  …
लेकिन  अक्सर  उठा  कर  ज़िन्दगी  को  बवाल  लिख  देता  है  …

जब  हूँ  मैं  उस के पास  तो  अक्सर  वोह  …
मेरे  वजूद  को  ख्याल  लिख  देता  है  …

मैं  उसकी  इस  दीवानगी  को  हंस  कर  टाल  देती  हूँ  …
और  वोह  मेरी  इस  अदा  को  भी  कमाल  लिख  देता  है  …

जब  कभी  मैं  चुप  हो  जाऊं
वोह  अन्देशूं  मैं  घिर  जाता  है  …

और  मेरी  चुप  को  मोहब्बत  का  ज़वाब  लिख  देता  है  …

मैं  बोहोत  खुश  हूँ  …
लेकिन  फिर  भी  …

नजाने  क्यों  वो  अक्सर  …
मेरी  आँखों   को  देख  कर  वीरान  लिख  देता  है

Lost !! Lost !! Lost !!

This is to notify you all that I have lost something, which is very precious to me. I request all my readers to find the thing which I have lost. It’s red in colour, size of my left hand fist, looks somewhat good, working efficiently, all parts working fully. Somewhat I feel that somebody has stolen it. I last felt 5 months before that it’s with me. After that I think it’s missing from it’s place. It’s very important to me. If you have seen it or know where is it, kindly give it to a cat, so that it can procure it and take full care of it, because it belongs to it.  I am talking about my heart.

A good treat will be given to the founder in BIMTECH cafeteria. ” A chai, long wali aur saath mein kachori. “

The change is only dynamic thing ever versed.

The change in inertia gives the birth to the force, I am no one to state it, it was stated by Newton in his first law. Weather the change of inertia or change of any notion , it drives to the new state of motion where by all the things around depict to be a little commotion.

With the start of the new decade, may be the most important one for all my peers, in which everyone wants to come out of the penultimate ordinate of educational year to the ultimate saga to end the educational endeavours to move into their new life of management jobs. What next, what next, question deprives the soul to work onto the present. If present fully lived, one will live the future too. I know its hard to work on today without thinking about future. Any how, I will not change the topic of writing by moving from one domain to another.

This article is more or less related to the new year stuffs, I know writing ” new year stuffs ” would lead a soul to the exited state of anger, as if the new year is also a drug.

This new year is giving no nouveau feeling, as it’s my 26th new year. Every thing is not same, I have changed from one order to the next order in the years following through. Every moment life turns up to teach you something new, and this changes you from me to me2. The idea of me2 could not be easily understood by my younger generation reader, me2 is the state when you, which is written as me here will grow in life to change his emotions to turn up into me2.

I have raised to the level of me2 in which I have plenty of things to do, first and foremost I am planning to get back to my work, the work for which I was known for. Not for the things which I do in the college these days, I am planning to go for a paradigm shift of looking at the things. The need of the hour is to complete my ” Search is on.” As I am quite sure that I may not get time to complete it in near future, after leaving this place, as we all have plenty of free time here. Why not use it. Writing daily article on my page will lead to the new practice and you may really realise that I am really of any level to pen down the fictional entity. The progress in language of English is quite great, in which the English is turned up into the Globish language which has taken many words from various other languages viz. French, German, Hindi, Sanskrit. So the chances of making an error of grammar is as low as zero.

The change is what we need to get into the life now. The change, which may change the changes of the change in the changeable panoramas of the human behaviour. As I have seen the only dynamic thing in the world is change.

Keep Changing, as change will change you for the changeable world.

पैसे कबूतर है

उड़ चाल देख इस पापी की

चील भी घबराया है

कोई नहीं यह उल्लू बाज यह

यह तो कबूतर बोखलाया है

पाप आतंक का नया चिन्ह यह

कबूतर ने बारूद उपज्वाया है

देख मेरे इस कबूतर को

कोई रात भर ना सो पाया है

जोड़ने की चेतनता इसको

लाखो घरो को उजड़वाया है

एक कबूतर जब उड़ा छत से

घर रो रो कर बौखलाया है

यही कबूतर मिला उस से

जिसने आतंक उपजाया है

झुण्ड मेरे इन कबूतर का

सब कुछ खरीद कर लाया है

कुछ छोटे दबके के लोगो ने

इसका मॉस भी खाना चाहा है

कौन आज तक इस मासूम को

अच्छे  से पचा पाया है

पच ना पाया यह चारे में

ना तेहलका सम्हाल पाया है

देख मेरे इस कबूतर की उड़ान

अचल विचल में सारा संसार

जहा देखा इस कबूतर ने हरा कबूतर वही

उस कबूतर की बस्ती में खुशहाल अपने को पाया है

पालने इस कबूतर को लोगो ने

क्या क्या कर पछताया है

कही किसी ने अपना लाल

तो कही मिलाप उजड़वाया है

Correct Your Grammar

The renaissance of y2k9. A literary story of an author, the author who knows no grammar and sometimes he is short of words. He plays with the pen, rarely put some ink on piece of a paper. Depicting knowledge of unamiable soul without any mould on this paper seems a though job, because this author knows no grammar. Why present particle is associated with tenses and why gerunds are there before a verb. All questions are beyond the scope of writting. Writing your imagination never ponders about the mistakes because of grammar.

Writting is more of a feel rather than a verb or a tense. One who stops writting because of his poor grammer is surely suffering from paranoia. Pronounciation, spellings, hymonyms error; what these could lead to the written article.

Earlier I was bad with grammer, english usage; after coming to this hectic life , I think I am lacking in emotions too. The deteroited emotions, no persona satifaction are some of the special trait of this life. Neither I improved my grammar nor did I got some thought feelings. Thats why my blog page is of less content now a days.  I got a direction but I pray to god that this direction must not be very similar to Hwang Ho. Ups and downs, ebbs and tides, go in tandem with this life.

The evacuation of the life from writting to non writting phase in an MBA college was never in my mind. When I had nothing to do in life, I had thousands of emotions on which I could write. But now when I have lots of things to do in life, I don’t have much thought flow from my mind on which I could write another post. Just for the sake of making  a post in the blog page is not the exact meaning of a blog entry. It is something else, what is this.. this question is still penetrating in my mind.

I miss my days of writting, along with a cup of tea in winter nights. Nights of solitary confinement with hundreds of books. I am leading a misdirectional life, with lotf of subjective things to do without an objective.

Welcome to the new Gothic world

Organization Behaviour ( Behavior, american spell); Marketing Management, International Trade Operations, and hell of waste things. What you want to make me.  An MBA or an agglomerated mixture of loads of shit.

Yes, Yes… I am talking about my new life, life in a B-school. 10 subjects in a trimester ( each trimester is of just 3 months ), hell of assignments, atleast 10 presentations to give, every subject have 3 papers, that are two mid terms and one final. New people, new adjustments, newer subjects. Accounts after Mechanical Engineering sounds interesting.

This gothic culture of a B school is not new, and one more thing is that that I am not making any complaints about anything. The tastiest food, the mess food, eventually in a sardonic attitude and the things which could take the nerves round is that people even don’t understand the meaning of gregarious. Use such words, class will laugh, don’t know why. I am a level below their gothicity and level up their gothicity, I urgently have to use an electric guitar for, may be, an hour to come out of this emotional trauma.

The moments of life are going very very slow, but eventually they are running and ruining the very slow time, which is abiding by. The colors under the sun misses the color of feelings and stagnations.

The ” search is on”* , the friends, maa, guitar; everything is out of the life. The wrangler style of life, the crux of life was never to sit and get absorbed in the semi permeable emotions of life.

Add: * Search is on is the name of a fictional stuff, which could hit the market very soon, I have penned down.

This gothic world has got some slow moments from me too, as I am also the new part of this gothic life of an MBA culture.  I hate being the love of this gothic world. This world loves to hate the beings who speak less and thinks more for nothing. This world only gives the memories, memories of … of …. , some silent fillers are much more than a said speech, sometimes very obviously.

Living and succeeding in this corporate world is same as learning to play guitar, and when one dwells oneself in the rock of it, it’s very hard for anyone to take out anyone from this gothic world of corporate and guitar.

The Dull Summers

The lives of leaves

the petels of sunbeans

the dirt on sleeves

The white becomes yellow

everything is dull and so silent. 

The Dull summers are giving 

some weird life full of agony

and pain. 

The mirage could be easily seen

on the charcoals of this road. 

Everything is seen with 

error of humanity

The error in humanity 

and the error of being a human. 

 

The Dull Summers 

with the pale in hail 

the fragrance of soil

The birds have reduced 

making chirps

Everyone is tending to go dizzy

except this sun and this sandeep. 

 

The Dull Summers 

making everything virtual. 

It seems somebody is standing under the tree

somebody is screaming someone’s name. 

Whiskies are changed into beers. 

Whispering is changing into screams

in this dull summers.

The Feelings

 

The feelings which makes ebbs and tides in my heart.
The feellings which makes me go fonder without you.
The feelings when I see rainbow.
The feelings when I see early morning sun.
The feelings when I see 4th day moon.
The feelings when I see the colors of holi and lights of diwali.
The feelings when I play my guitar.
The feelings which makes my soul travelling and searching.
The feelings in which I search what I intended to have.
The feelings of joys, sorrows.
The feelings of your eyes, when you blink them.
The feelings when ur lips make an upward curve.
The feelings whilst watching cricket match  and fighting over TV remote.
The feelings of you.
The feelings of your boaring TV episode.
The feelings of having pizza together.
The feeling of opening a Restro.
The feelings which never separates you from me
are always with me.
I see, I feel you roaming everywhere in my home
making some sound,
The feeling to chase the sound
leads me to solitaire.
The automn is making trees to shed all leaves,
see some leaves are even in my veranda.
Making me to remember of the past.
Every year it sheds,
Every year birds leave them.
Every year I dont stop looking at it even in automn.
Every year it regains leaves,
Every year birds come back,
Every year I dont stop looking at it even in rain.

The feeling of your hand,
when they run through your hairs.
The feeling of seeing you,
feeling is you from past few years.
The years in which I have never seen you.
The years in which I have never touched you.
The years in which you remain as an imagination.
An imagination in which you live
An imagination in which I am in love
Else where I can’t see love anywhere in the world.
I loved my feelings
I loved my feelings for an unseen lady.
The feelings in which I made pictures of my to be gal.
The feelings in which I and she fights daily,
love each other daily.
She exists in feelings.
And the feelings exist in me.

Gap Between consecutive posts.

Hi,

Wishing you all a Happy Holi. My new post after 11th December 08 and today is 10th March 09 . Approx a gap of 3 months among the two consecutive posts.

Actually this life usually gives you a problem in terms of gynos. And there is an illuminated war among my head and soul and that is my head thinks that I am philogynist and soul thinks I am misogynist. It’s a state of war that every one has to take, the war between the uncertain thinking of heart and head, even Einstein did so and I am no Einstien and there is simply no rocket science available in this visionary world to come out of it.

What I did in those three long months, I read 3 books:

1) The Secret by Rhonda Bryne

2) Handbook for Writers by Lynn Quitman Troyka

3) My India, The Eternal India by Swami Vivekananda.

Other problem was that I was working in HP, and didn’t got the hell of time out of office. After office and reading books and newspapers, you can’t think of writting stuff. I tried it many times. But never came out with any good stuff so that I could publish it on my page.

Well I would try to write more and will try that “Search is on” would be completed/published in this year.  * ” Search is on ” is the name of the book, what I planned to write, a fictious stuff. I promise that book ( if released ) would not break even the records of Manorama, you might be aware of Manorama, the six Feet Under. Well, it was none of mistake of Abhay Deol in that movie, if anybody could have a wife like Gul Panag, who the hell would think of writting, I won’t dare to come out of bed, if I will get a wife like Gul Panag. Isn’t she Sexy.

Anyways, I did talked of hell of waste things in the come back post, would not make you to pull your hairs out of your head. It’s more than suffice, I guess.

Coming Back to Life  in form of Guitar, Love and Writting. 

With Regards

Sandeep Sinha

Happy Diwali

What brings on your mind, when you thought of Diwali. Ehhh, I guess some sweets, gifts, bright lights.

Ahh, Diwali is about to come and I have promised me that I won’t sit on net for any time after this Sunday, up to CAT. I am just completing all my pending work for my room, my life within 2 days. I know it’s a long time. 48 hours, isn’t it a long time? I know after a long session of Quantative Ability, one needs some rest. From 12 @ mid-night to 12 noon, solved around 750 questions and you can see my head trembling with severe headache. Still I am happy that I may eject out of the turmoil of maths on CAT day.

After this hectic session, I decided to spend all my savings to make my room livelier. So that you could easily come in my room in a reverie to make some cups of tea for me along with some good rebukes to take me further towards my books. (Remember the lines of my poems: tum padho .. shayad mai aayi .. sabko naa dungi dikhai aur kaano mein aake kahungi ki … woh aisi paagal ladki thi)

Just 10 days left for Diwali, let’s go for new wall colors. Don’t you think, selecting a wall color is the most though job for me? Yes it is the toughest job for me. First and foremost I thought to go for some kids color, as I am a kid. Then I though that I have to at least act like an adult in this world, where some one believes that I am a kid, hey, mind it, I have stopped watching Cartoon Network and Pogo.

Then finally I planned to go for multi colored wall, you know one color would be green in any case. My room has three walls and on one side I only have wardrobes, with a long collection of some old clothes, I haven’t done some shopping from past 6- 7 months.   On one side of wall, I am using brown and grey combination, it will look sober. Bhaiyaji is doing this right now and I am writing this post.

And I am planning to use clove red and leaf green colors on two sides. One is a shade of my fav color and one is shade of someone’s fav color. I will post up the pics of my room after the CAT day or maybe I may come online for few moments, if I would get some time, after the color application.

Yaaro jashn hai yeh zindagi. New color in my room, blessings from some one special and 12 hours continuous sessions of study, where would destiny take me. At least, I won’t say this year that I should have studied for few more hours, I am doing all, whatever I couldn’t even thought of, and to add something, I do not switch on my music player while studying now a days.

I listen to most hilarious song on music player, on a tea break and that song is, no reward for guessing the most hilarious song from the movie OSO, that’s none other than Dhoom Tana. Hahaha.  My fridge will start occupying lots of Ladoos and Burfis in just few days and some fruit bears and the chilling Limca, Yes limca is my fav soft drink. But I am thinking, will I enjoy all this alone.

Why not? Hallo, I am not all alone. Mehtab would be coming just after diwali for combined studies, and we guys would simply gonna rock this year. Just hold your nerves tight and pray for us.

And my biggest challenge is me. I have to work up to my standards.

This side of wall is looking great. Hope you guys could also see this. Don’t worry, pics would be uploaded very soon, and I am leaving to have a laddoo. Would you like to have one?

I pledge:

* I won’t use crackers this year

 * won’t gamble even a single penny, (coz I dont have any) even tough I will win. This line is not from the book of Shiv Khera, you could win. I hardly read self help book.

Thanks to you, for your 24 hours assistance in all aspects of life, and helping me to take me from adolescence to a… don’t know to what.

With lots of happiness and bliss,

Happy Diwali to my reader, and readers.

Love you.

Signing off till 16th November 2008.

Miss me but not toooooo much. I will be back, else where I could go.