The Musings of Confusion

A little background: A man who tried to learn English language in the family where everyone speaks Hindi most of the times, comes out to be a Britisher by his written musings only, not at all by his pronunciation. 

The state of confusion which this funny English language gives, is quite described in this poem. Indeed it’s a long one, but worth reading. 

 

Dearest creature in creation, 

Study English pronunciation. 

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. 

I will keep you busy, 

Make your head with heat grow dizzy. 

Tear in eye, your dress will tear. 

So shall I !  Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard. 

Dies and diet, lord and word. 

Sword and sward, retain and Britain. 

Now I surely will not plague you

with such words as plaque and ague. 

But be careful how you speak:

Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; 

Cloven, oven, how and low, 

Script, receipt, show, poem and toe. 

 

Hear me say, devoid of trickery, 

Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, 

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, 

Exiles, similes, and reviles; 

scholar, vicar, and cigar, 

solar, mica, war and far; 

One, anemone,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; 

Gertrude, German, wind and mind, 

Scene, mankind. 

 

Billet does not rhyme with ballet, 

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. 

Blood and flood are not like food, 

Nor is mould like should and would. 

Viscous, viscount, load and broad. 

Toward, to forward, to reward. 

 

And your pronunciation’s Ok

when you correctly say croquet, 

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, 

Friend and fiend, alive and live. 

Ivy, privy, famous, clamour 

And enamour rhyme with hammer. 

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, 

Doll and roll and some and home. 

 

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, 

Neither does devour with clangour. 

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,

Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant, 

shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, 

And than singer, ginger, linger, 

Real, Zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge, and gauge, 

Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. 

 

Query does not rhyme with very, 

Nor does fury sound like bury. 

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. 

Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. 

Though the differences seem little, 

we can actually but virtual. 

 

Refer does not rhyme with deafer. 

Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. 

Mint, pint, senate and sedate; 

Dull, bull and mull ate late. 

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, 

Science, conscience, scientific, 

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, 

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. 

 

We say hallowed, but allowed, 

People, leopard, towed, but vowed. 

Mark the differences, moreover, 

Between mover, cover, clover; 

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, 

Police and lice; 

Camel, Constable, unstable, 

Principle, disciple, label. 

 

Petal, panel and canal, 

Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. 

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, 

Senator, Spectator, mayor. 

Tour, but our and four. 

Gas, alas. 

Sea, idea, Korea, area.

Psalm, Maria but malaria. 

 

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. 

Doctrine, turpentine, marine. 

Compare alien and Italian, 

Dandelion and battalion. 

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, eye, whey and key. 

Say aver, but ever, fever, 

Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. 

Heron, granary, canary. 

Face, but preface, not efface. 

 

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. 

Large, but target, gin, give, verging, 

Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. 

Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere. 

Seven is right, but so is even, 

Hyphen, roughen, nephew, 

Monkey, donkey, Turk and Jerk, 

Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. 

 

Pronunciation is a pailing stout and spikey ?

Won’t it make you lose your wits, 

writing groats and saying grits?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:

Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, 

gunwale, 

Verdict and indict. 

Finally, which rhymes with enough, 

Though, through, plough or dough, or cough ?

Hiccough has the sound of cup. 

My final advice is to give UP !!!! 

 

 

 

 

It’s all Bull SHEET.

With so much research and study, I came to a conclusion of 26 years of my academic life. The key finding after all is simply ” It was all bullshit.” I never wanted to learn what my teachers put most emphasis on ( in class 7th and 8th) DAV’s bull shit mantra. I tried my level best to pass the exam, but never learned the meanings of them. I learned Sankskit, lat, lot and may be LOL. But never understood the logic of it.

After senior secondary, I always wanted to learn only 2 subjects. That was Physics and Maths. I never got the logic of benzene and stories of Sarat Chandra.

In Engineering I wanted to study only operations subject. But hell rises to see the formulas of SOM & KOM.

In MBA, I wanted to continue all my favorite subjects of life, Stats and Operations. But even after 2 years, I knew more about operations in engineering than in MBA.

Whatever I have asked for in the education system, I got something else. I asked for IIM seat, Arjun Munda took it away. I scored 91, but with 91 a ST was taking lectures there.

I wanted to show different things to the world, all teachers, always shown a down thumb. I always wanted to have a expertise, they always wanted me to have a conjunctions of all the pathetic pieces of shit all over these 26 years. I wanted to play cricket, papa said ” Har koi sachin nahi banta”. To teacher I said, ” I love physics, I want to be Newton”. Teacher said, Newton had no job. He always counted apples falling of from the trees. To the answer sheets, which had all correct answers fetch me B-, and to the answer sheets all wrong answers fetch me A. You all were bullshit ( read: Bull SHEET).

To the years, when I was curious to know the things, no one had answers to my question. But with all this bullshit of 26 years, they all made me like them too. My questions had substance which always needs to be answered by any school teacher. But all students at school use to laugh, about the concepts which I grabbed. I always derived the results with different methods, teacher raised his eyebrows. I always played the ball with such a clean technique, baller raised his eyebrows. Whenever I tried something different, everyone raised his fingers and eyebrows.

With such a conclusion, in simplest word, the education of 26 years at my school, at my degree college, at my B school, all knowledge was fake, which was just to make me a mugging parrot to score the highest in the schools. I raised my eyebrows, I wrote their points in mine way, they gave me some 50′s and some 60′s. Than came the IT companies, who wanted to recruits some parrots for their business. Thats why they took Biotech students as IT engineers. I always wanted to do the work, which I love. Even if anyone raises his eyebrows now. Let them do so. I will only have a word to say. IAB. It’s all bullshit.

बह रहा हू

कभी हवा तेज़ चली

तो कभी बारिश तेज़ पड़ी

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी उडती पतंग सा

तो कभी पानी की तरंग सा

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी आसमान की छाव में

तो कभी पानी की नाव में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी ज़िन्दगी के खेल में

तो कभी किसी की गुलेल में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी दीपक के तेल में

तो कभी हमारे मेल में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी बिस्तर में सो कर

तो कभी ज़िन्दगी में बहुत कुछ खो कर

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी सपनो से जुड़ कर

तो कभी ज़िन्दगी से मुड कर

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी कनक सा बस कर अमीरों ने लूटा

तो कभी कनक सा बन कर गरीबो ने भी लूटा

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी भारत के झंडे में

तो कभी ज़िन्दगी के पंगे में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी नोटों की मस्ती में

तो कभी खोटो की बस्ती में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी चिड़िया की उड़ान में

तो कभी ज़िन्दगी की थकान में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी पीली सरसों में

तो कभी कल परसों में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी चुनर की ओढ़ में

तो कभी तड़प की चोट में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी किसी के साए में

तो कभी कही किसी को देते हुए साए

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

खुशबु से भरे रास्तों में

चाय समोसे के नाश्ते में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी धुएं की बस्ती में

तो कभी जवानी की मस्ती में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी किसी के इंतज़ार में

तो कभी किसी इश्तेहार में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी आँगन के फूल में

तो कभी टूटे कंगन की धुल में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी आँखों के काजल में

तो कभी आँखों के बादल में

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी चाँद को ताक के

तो कभी सावन में कीचड फांद के

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी लेखक बन के

तो कभी चिन्तक बन के

मै तो बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी बचपन की हवा में

तो कभी बुढ़ापे की दवा में

मै तो बस बस बह रहा हू

 

कभी आग़ाज़ के दुख में

तो कभी अंत के दुख में

मै तो बस बह रहा हूँ

 

Why I love Indian Cricket team ?

I always wonder why Indian Cricket Team is not like India.

Where a Jat ( Virendar Sehwag) opens with a Marathi (Sachin Tendulkar) . This jat is not asking for any reservations and the marathi boy always say Jai Hind before praising Maharashtra. Next are the two most elegant, stylish left hand (Gautam gambhir) and right hand (Virat Kohli) young guys from saadi dilwalo ki Dilli. Next comes Yuvraj Singh, a man from Punjab, the punjabi puttar who always be believes to send all the balls out of stadium, and also the opposition who thinks they have got big balls, he just loves to crush them. This punjabi puttar is way out of the punjab problems of drugs. Next comes the man from the eastern belt, the belt which is not the belt of growth, the state effected from Naxals, but this guy shot shows the real growth a country could ever ask for. If Jharkhand don’t have highest number of helicopters, so what, Dhoni has got a special Helicopter shot. Next comes Yusuf Pathan and with his favorite caution” If you will spin the ball, I will send it back in your country.” Where a Muslim started his career against Pakistan and his first six came out to be against Pakistan. He started his career and India got T-20 World cup titles. The fear of his explosive shots could take the opposition breaths out. He is the one example who contradicts the saying that Cricket is a game of rich.

The Ballers: Where a Sikh (Harbhajan Singh) and a Muslim( Zaheer Khan) covers for Hindu batsman. Where we have a Gujju bhai Patel ( Munaf Patel) to swing the back and out from both the angles. Where we have a keralite ( S. Sreesanth) prooving the notion that a kerlite is always there in  all corners of world.

Selectors: Where a brahmin selects 2 muslims for a team, a sikh, a marathi, a jat, punjabis, garhwali,  gujrati, jat, kerlite. Taking players from all our the country. Making it diverse keep with all skills and all of them unite together, to show ” UNITY IN DIVERSITY” to win the cup to bring a festival called Cricket dhamaka on 2nd April.



लाल

लगता है सूरज ढलने को ही है

लालिमा ही तो है, शायद.

सब कुछ लाल होने को ही है

पर कही कुछ कोने में भी है

सब कुछ लाल होने को ही है

पर दिल में डर कही कुछ खोने को भी है

उगते का लाल अलग, डूबते का लाल अलग

दोनों अलग से कभी लगते गलत

अघाज़ और अंजाम दोनों के बीच

लड़ता यह अपनी माँ का लाल

हे झूले लाल, सम्हाल के तू लाल

कही यही लाल सूरज को दुब्वाता है

कही यही लाल उसको उगवता है

लाल से ही जन्मे बहुत से बवाल

उनको बवालों को हल भी मिला कइयो को लाल

समझ गर तू लाल की लाली

पा जाएगा जीवन के अंत की खुशहाली

 

 

Life’s Kewl.

I can’t write anything more. The feelings for writing are almost dead, there are no point which needs to be discussed.

Life is cool. Yeah, pretty sure, but I do miss it. It’s memorabilia to see a notepad full of  a written documents, the documents which merely deserve a fire match stick. It’s not just that it is not worth publishing.

Yeah Life is cool. Pretty sure it is, but I do miss it. It’s just not that the music is not alive but my fingers do miss the strings of my guitar sometimes. It’s not that I dont know how to play it, but gone were the days. I DO MISS IT.

But once again Life is cool. Yeah almost it is. Life needs a little brawl after drinks with friends. But see No Friends, No Drinks, No Brawl. Sounds almost cool that no drinks, no brawl but I do miss it.

It’s not that life is not cool. It has got almost everything to me, the vast knowledge of all subjects, the so-called aquitances, the hellos and hies. But where is the fun of getting a back in a paper. I do miss it. I desperately do miss those moments when one friend gets 2 backs and one gets 3. The competition was real vast and tough. I do miss them.

Life is real damn cool man. An Air conditioner, a single occupied room, fridge in common room, everything is right here. But I do miss one room three friends, no AC, no Cooler even … a single ceiling fan which used to make voice chrrrrr chrrrrr … Fighting with warden to allow us to fit a cooler in a room. I do miss it

Life is real cool, truly. One ciggerette to smoke alone .. earlier one ciggerette 5 friends to share with it. Jaldi aage badha naa yaar … I do miss it.

Life is real cool. Maggi, ice creams, chocolate, everything is available in cafeteria. But i miss to cross the 12 feet boundaries of college at 2 AM to make paranthe in dhaba and having them all together with friends.  I … mm.. it.

Life is real cool. One laptop. 24 hours connection. System on almost 17 hours a day. Pretending to do thousands of stuff at a time. But actually fooling myself. Earlier One desktop 20 friends, newer craze for orkut, fighting for it. Waiting for ones turn to see the hell out of desktop. I do miss it.

Life is Kewl Man. Limited access to net and friends pinging almost every time, having cup of tea while chatting with them. Uffff Jannat By god. Now full access to net .. no one to ping up to say Hi … I do miss it genuinely.

Life is awesomely Kewl man. But I do miss it, not much, but the moments when I try to close my eyes every night. I miss those BC’s.

I always thought they were just a call apart, but a call may not fill in the gaps of the devastated missing moments of life.

Life is cool. Having a lunch in Le Meridian.





But I do miss the moments of having a

Life was really cool and I really do miss my life.

Gyan Vani



105.6 frequency modulations and youcould hear what 99% of Delhi never dares to hear.  This is Gyan Vani, a radio FM channel totally dedicated for education delivering some great lecures on almost all subjects. I have attended a lecture on decision making and supply chain management today. The mode of lecture is available in duo lingo .. thats saadi Hinglish. So is the real time to gather the info what has been missed out in classroom while playing O.X or SMSing to your love shov ..

* The frequencies for FM broadcast (commercial and community radio)   mentioned below are shared by OM Ray (VU3ORN) & SWLAlokesh for the benefit of all listeners. Happy Tuning on VHF bands:

FM Radio Stations Around New Delhi

Frequency in MHz	Radio Station Name
90.40	DU 90.4 FM (Delhi University)
90.40	Radio Jamia (Jamia Milia Islamiya University)
91.10	Radio City
92.70	Big FM
93.50	Red FM
94.30	Radio One
95.00	Hit FM
96.90	IIMC Radio (Indian Instt. Of Mass Comm.)
98.30	Radio Mirchi- It’s Hot
102.60	AIR FM Rainbow (All India Radio)
104.00	Fever FM
104.80	Meow FM
105.60	Gyan Vani
106.40	AIR FM Gold  (All India Radio)

*

While driving my car too much in last week, almost 100 km in a day and in total of 1500 kms from 5th of April. While driving I always use to listen radio, the only place where I can listen to it. The place where Johnardan became Nitin .. yes yes saada ulta pulta palindrome Nitin and the lots of RJ aunties with very younger voices. The one of them is running her institute for RJ’s in S.Delhi.

You all must have heard that History repeats itself, so is the popularity for radio, from vivid bharti’s age turning into the age of  Mirchi, Fever, Meow .. Everything is hot by it’s name itself indeed and no one could take all hot things for long. That’s why you must have heard that girl friends should be hot but wife must have to be as cool as they can be.

The similar thing happened with me, while my foot on accelerator and hands on gear and steering. I was totally fed up with the third class jokes of Sudharshan, oh sorry Mangesh. Sud ki yadash chali gayi hai . Shanky Banky’s pathetic summer of delhi and after that a haryanvi voice telling them .. chain naa hai gaana gaane se temp kam ho jaayega ke … woh dekh gaadi ke neech DOGG bhi rest kar raha hai How one could bear them again and again without getting no monetary claim for hearing to their hell. So in their emos attyachaar I was left with 3 options, first : switching radio off. Not a good option, what else anyone can do while driving .. Second: to jump out of running car and see how many dies .. Third: To look for any other alternative and got it as news 106.4 and gyan vani as 105.6 ..

This alternative gave me info about the economic depression of Greece, Why Euro prices are going down, What Ravan must be thinking of movie Ravan, What are the domains of supply chain management, What are the role of strategic management, What are the planning for Common Wealth Games, tickets of CWG 2010 will be sold after 1st june, how much Britain is helping Delhi for the showcase, blah blah and so on.

I do recommend that one must hear 105.6 on every Friday evening for economic report of whole world and a crisp debate on it, getting the information like 10 kg Aata for Rs 139 only and peeli matar daal for Rs 22 and lots more info.

Happy Listening.

P.S : * to * copied from http://www.vu2.in/component/content/article/54-fm-frequency-modulation-broadcast-services/36-fm-radio-stations-around-new-delhi.html

गुम

कुछ गुम है कही

अर्थ कही तो शब्द गुम है कही

बातें कही तो मुलाकातें कही

रात का संनात्ता कही

तो दिन का शोर भी कही

सुबह की हल्छल कही

तो शाम के वोह अड्डे कही

कुछ कुछ गुम सा है …

वोह धुएं में उड़ते पत्ते

वोह टापू पे लिम्का का गिरना

वोह क्रिकेट की लड़ाई

गिनती के 4० तो कही 41.

सब गुम है साले

वोह ढाई बजे रात की चाय

बेमतलब की बातें

इम्तिहान का कलेश

सब साले ऐसे महफ़िल में महफूज़ थे

की सब अपने आप में ही गुम थे

गुम थे रास्ते, कहा पता था मंजिल का भी

एक लड़कपन , एक उन्माद

उन्माद में से एक उत्पात

गुम था दिमाग भी ना जाने कहा

आज ना जाने सब कहा

अपनी डगर अपने सफ़र

गुम उनके मन में भी वोह

वोह उड़ते पत्ते

वोह आधी रात की चाय

वोह दीवारों से कूदते लोग

सुबह ४ बजे कढाई में खनखन

वोह आधे कच्चे चावल

गुम है आज भी कही …

सबकी आहट तो गूंजी होगी आज भी

उन गुम रास्तो में,

ट्रक्टर के धुएं पे पीछे भागते लोगो में भी

कही गुम अब हम भी हो गए होंगे

क्युकी सब साले गुम है

The change is only dynamic thing ever versed.

The change in inertia gives the birth to the force, I am no one to state it, it was stated by Newton in his first law. Weather the change of inertia or change of any notion , it drives to the new state of motion where by all the things around depict to be a little commotion.

With the start of the new decade, may be the most important one for all my peers, in which everyone wants to come out of the penultimate ordinate of educational year to the ultimate saga to end the educational endeavours to move into their new life of management jobs. What next, what next, question deprives the soul to work onto the present. If present fully lived, one will live the future too. I know its hard to work on today without thinking about future. Any how, I will not change the topic of writing by moving from one domain to another.

This article is more or less related to the new year stuffs, I know writing ” new year stuffs ” would lead a soul to the exited state of anger, as if the new year is also a drug.

This new year is giving no nouveau feeling, as it’s my 26th new year. Every thing is not same, I have changed from one order to the next order in the years following through. Every moment life turns up to teach you something new, and this changes you from me to me2. The idea of me2 could not be easily understood by my younger generation reader, me2 is the state when you, which is written as me here will grow in life to change his emotions to turn up into me2.

I have raised to the level of me2 in which I have plenty of things to do, first and foremost I am planning to get back to my work, the work for which I was known for. Not for the things which I do in the college these days, I am planning to go for a paradigm shift of looking at the things. The need of the hour is to complete my ” Search is on.” As I am quite sure that I may not get time to complete it in near future, after leaving this place, as we all have plenty of free time here. Why not use it. Writing daily article on my page will lead to the new practice and you may really realise that I am really of any level to pen down the fictional entity. The progress in language of English is quite great, in which the English is turned up into the Globish language which has taken many words from various other languages viz. French, German, Hindi, Sanskrit. So the chances of making an error of grammar is as low as zero.

The change is what we need to get into the life now. The change, which may change the changes of the change in the changeable panoramas of the human behaviour. As I have seen the only dynamic thing in the world is change.

Keep Changing, as change will change you for the changeable world.

पैसे कबूतर है

उड़ चाल देख इस पापी की

चील भी घबराया है

कोई नहीं यह उल्लू बाज यह

यह तो कबूतर बोखलाया है

पाप आतंक का नया चिन्ह यह

कबूतर ने बारूद उपज्वाया है

देख मेरे इस कबूतर को

कोई रात भर ना सो पाया है

जोड़ने की चेतनता इसको

लाखो घरो को उजड़वाया है

एक कबूतर जब उड़ा छत से

घर रो रो कर बौखलाया है

यही कबूतर मिला उस से

जिसने आतंक उपजाया है

झुण्ड मेरे इन कबूतर का

सब कुछ खरीद कर लाया है

कुछ छोटे दबके के लोगो ने

इसका मॉस भी खाना चाहा है

कौन आज तक इस मासूम को

अच्छे  से पचा पाया है

पच ना पाया यह चारे में

ना तेहलका सम्हाल पाया है

देख मेरे इस कबूतर की उड़ान

अचल विचल में सारा संसार

जहा देखा इस कबूतर ने हरा कबूतर वही

उस कबूतर की बस्ती में खुशहाल अपने को पाया है

पालने इस कबूतर को लोगो ने

क्या क्या कर पछताया है

कही किसी ने अपना लाल

तो कही मिलाप उजड़वाया है